Man oh man, I shouldn't but I have to. It is very rare when I am handed a subject that is a veritable slam dunk. No, I am not talking about male enhancement. I am talking about the 400 meter dash. Back in the day, I used to be a pretty fair 400 meter runner. Sure I made a few bucks circling the track at a decent clip, but never like some of the guys who are operating today. LaShawn Merritt is arguably the best 400 meter runner in the world. Back in 1956, my father was the best 400 meter runner in the world. So what does this all mean ? It means that if you are 24 years old and the best 400 meter runner in the world, you are making a lot of money. If I had to guesstimate, I would say that the pay is anywhere between a quarter of a million and a million dollars a year. Now I don't know about you, but staying in shape, going to Europe about five times a year and getting paid all that money to run around in your underwear is nothing but grits and gravy to me. It was fun 17 years ago when I did it and I got paid practically nothing.
Most recently, LaShawn Merritt tested positive for a performance enhancing drug and I don't mean ExtenZe. The drug in question was DHEA. However, Lashawn Merritt admitted taking ExtenZe and that is why he tested positive for DHEA. You see ExtenZe contains DHEA. I'm confused. LaShawn Merritt is a 24 year old man in probably the best shape of his life. Anybody who has ever run the 400 meter dash knows that it is probably one of the most grueling races you could ever participate in. Now imagine being the fastest 400 meter runner in the world. To say that you would have to be in great physical shape is an understatement. I think being in superhuman shape is a more accurate description.
My research says that the purpose of ExtenZe is two fold. The number one purpose of ExtenZe, according to the manufacturers, is to increase the size of your wee wee. The second purpose of ExtenZe is to help supercharge your sex life. I would have to guess that a 24 year old male who is in super human shape would probably be in the sexual prime of his life. Why did you need the ExtenZe LaShawn?
Yes, I admit it, sex is an important part of life. It's just that, well, God knows what they put in over the counter nutritional supplements. Why would you risk your livelihood by putting something in your body that may produce a positive drug test? A two year suspension is going to cost you easily over a million dollars. I'm sure if you made that type of money, there aren't too many women who would kick you out of bed.
I ran track for seventeen years of my life. During that time, I have traveled to many places and hung around a lot of other track runners. As a group, people who run track are among the funniest people I know. No not mildly comical but insanely hilarious. Can you imagine the ribbing you are going to have to take LaShawn once your suspension is over? I have never met you LaShawn, but I really feel for you. Stay off the male enhancement products.